A world turned upside down for a while.

I was very calm and happy when I went for my last chemo session thinking it was all over.The session itself was the first one where nothing went wrong BUT when it was over the consultant came 
and sat on my bed and told me the 6 sessions of chemo had barely touched the tumour.I was very very shocked,I couldn't bear to hear it. But I did. I now have been given a 4 week respite to eat as many unhealthy foods as I can, I am having a blood transfusion once a week for 4 weeks and lots of other stuff.Then I have 2 scans early December and the following day meet up with the consultants to discuss what happens next. I have no idear how I will cope. I will of course have to but have been a misery for a while.I think its the loosing all control over your life which becomes 
dominated by the dreadful effects of the chemo.The one thing I do manage is to keep my journal going even though many pages are very shakey.I am more than grateful for friends who visit and my blogging friends.How I would survive without Tony I can't imagne,he continues to be amazing as do my daughters.